I don’t really know why I’m making a personal post on here. I guess that I just need an outlet besides a friend or Seth. No matter how hard I try I can’t be completely happy. No matter what happens it doesn’t last more than 2 or 3 minutes. I am feeling out of control. I need to get help but can’t be seen for 2 more weeks at least, but this disorder, disease, sickness, whatever it is has taken over me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel lost, hopeless, empty. I don’t know myself 80% of the time. I don’t know who my loved ones are 80% of the time when I see them. This is terrifying. I’m forgetting my life, I’m forgetting everything. I’m losing every memory I cherish and that keeps me going one more day. I am torn down to nothing and am ready to just jump off the edge.